the next step

Every year it seems like the holidays come quicker and are over sooner.  Maybe it was the cross country travels, or the amount of catch up sessions squeezed into such a short amount of time, whatever it was, I felt like Christmas came and went too quickly this year.  Although it seemed to fly by, Christmas was a joyous occasion in the Apple household this year.  All nine of us were together for a brief, but special time.  Mornings started early and toys were scattered around the house, presents were opened and new toys were used with eager excitement, the sounds of children laughing filled our ears, and dinner table talks consisted of thanksgiving for the Lord's provisions over the past year.  Each year I become more and more thankful for the family God placed me in, for the places He has scattered us to, for the place we come home to, and for parents who have been by our side every step of the way.  

The Apple Clan-Russell, Dan, Keziah, Alex, Mike, Dad, Mom, and Emett

Family time has been interwoven with catch up sessions with missed friends, celebrations of engagements of dear friends, and jumping back into the business of work at UAB.  I've been reminded of how wonderful my life in Birmingham is, of how much the Lord has provided for me here, and the ways He has allowed me to pour into lives around this city.  With all this being said, jumping back into life in Birmingham has given me insight and reflection over where I've been and where the Lord is taking me.  Yes, I am surrounded here with a job I absolutely love-high risk patients, residents, busy nights, a low income patient population, etc.  Yes, I am surround with the greatest friends anyone could ask for-roommates, spontaneous sunset dinner dates, coffee chats, popsicles, walks through the neighborhood, hang outs at local establishments, lazy nights on the couch, babysitting kiddos, etc.  Yes, I am involved in some of the most sincere and genuine ministry in the city-coaching inner city kids, breaking down the walls of racial discrimination that still exist, taking middle school girls to ice cream, performing ultrasounds, encouraging and supporting life, etc.  Yes, I do call a city home that has been transforming over the years, that is beginning to thrive, revitalize, and become a "happening city."  Yes, I am thankful for this place, these people, the life change I get to be a part of, this city.  And yes, I do miss this place when I'm gone.  

After much prayer and consideration, I have decided to continue travel nursing, maybe not for a long time, but at least for the next few months.  I will start working in Austin, Texas on February 10th, working at a bigger medical facility downtown.  I came back from Spokane almost 75% sure I wasn't going to travel again; I missed community and ministry too much, my friends were getting engaged, and family was moving back to the South.  But, after jumping back into life here, I'm realizing life still goes on while I'm gone.  Hang with me here while I explain...    

It's such a selfish thought to want life to stop while I'm gone, hoping no one makes new friends, ministry takes a stand still, and people stop having babies.  I know it's wrong, but stop and think, have you ever had fear of missing out, wanting to be in two places at once, hoping that people's lives can't go on without you?  The good thing about all of this is our God is a forgiving God, One who accepts these crazy thoughts that run through my mind, reveals the selfishness in them, and humbles our hearts to repentance.  When I grasp the fact that even though my life is unknown, that doesn't mean other people can't have their life all together.  And in reality, do any of us ever really have our lives all together?  We are all wanderers in this world, but thankfully we have a God who is willing to lead us and not let us wander astray.  Now back to the traveling... After realizing new friends were made and incredible steps forward were taken in the ministries I participated in, I began to pray about the next steps.  Did the Lord want to jump right back in here, plugging into ministry, getting involved in a local church, investing in the friends around me?  Or, did God want me to travel again, explore unknown territory, meet new people, work in a new environment?  Both of these situations would take me out of my comfort zone, challenge me, and have lasting impact.  But, the more I looked at the life and people around me, I felt comforted and full of peace.  When I leave, I leave Birmingham in some really good hands.  I know first hand how Val and Sara go above and beyond to invest in the lives of inner city kids, to teach them the skills of soccer, to unconditionally love them, and pour into them the Word of God.  I know first hand how Meredith, Connie, Lisa, Heather, Alison, and the countless numbers of volunteers pour themselves into every conversation they have about life, how they share the Gospel with every person that walks through their doors, and how women leave Sav-a-Life feeling empowered and full of hope.  I know first hand women in Birmingham are delivering babies in a state of the art facility, with physicians, residents, and nurses who provide compassionate care.  I know first hand my friends are investing in lives around them, praying for the lost, including outcasts, going to the nations, and seeking God's will for their lives.  I know that if I stayed in Birmingham, I could be a part of all these experiences.  But, I have hope that the people of Birmingham are being loved daily, the Gospel is being spread, and lives are being changed.  And with this hope I'm encouraged and challenged to go forth and make disciples of all nations, to find a place that may not be so invested in, to meet people that may not have as much access to the Gospel.  In a few months, God may very well tell me He isn't finished with me in Birmingham, but until that day comes, I'll embrace the journey ahead and live one day at a time.  

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."  Romans 15:13

Sunset from an evening at Pursell Farms.

traveling home

We were driving along Highway 101, basking in the scenery and singing along with Pandora at the top of our lungs.  A quick glimpse ahead and I felt the urge to stop at the next upcoming pull off.  We all piled out of the car and pulled out our cameras, snapping pictures of the beach surrounded by cliffs and rock formations.  After some convincing, I talked my companions into climbing down the cliff to the beach below.  As soon as we made it to the bottom we immediately felt like five year olds, frolicking on the beach before us.  After realizing the rock formations were covered with live clams, I started screaming with joy at the top of my lungs...I had stumbled upon live STAR FISH.  I can't even explain to you how indescribable this sight was...simple, beautiful, God's creation.

The above story is just one of many from my travels back South.  I was very blessed to be accompanied by such dear friends from college, my friend Lori (who now lives and Chicago) and my current roommate in Birmingham, Keaton.  We were like little kids when it came to exploring Portland, driving down the coast and running into the freezing Pacific Ocean, hugging trees in the Redwood Forest, visiting all the sights in San Francisco from the show "Full House," hiking through Yosemite, walking the strip in Vegas, and driving along with a cold front.  It was such an incredible adventure that concluded with beautiful memories made and a long list of places we have to return to and places still to explore.  

Driving through the Columbia River Gorge between Washington and Oregon.  This was the last glimpse of sunlight for the week.

Visiting the Sunday Market in Portland.

 

The Redwoods were HUGE.

In the Redwood Forest we had the opportunity to see a herd of wild elk.  You can't really see them in this picture, but check out Instagram for a better photo!

In front of the houses that are in the opening scene for Full House.

Hiking through Yosemite, though it was a cloudy day, we still caught a glimpse of the infamous Half Dome (the base is right behind us in the picture).

In New Mexico we woke up to snow and temperatures of 19 degrees; it made for quite the driving experience.

One of my favorite shots from one of the many tunnels we drove through, this one is in Yosemite National Park.

After spending a day in Birmingham, I traveled to Florida to be with family over the holidays.  Over a span of 10 days I literally traveled from "the Redwood Forests to the Gulf Stream waters,"  it was quite an accomplishment.  It was wonderful being with family and meeting my niece for the first time.  

Keziah Elise has had quite the first few months of life, but we are grateful to say now she is home and as beautiful as ever!

We also got so spend some quality time with this little guy.  Emett loves when Nana showers him with gifts and Uncle Russ comes to play.  

You're probably asking "What now, Emily?"  If only I knew.  I'm learning to trust God one day at a time.  Living in the present and making the most of where He has me in the moment.  For now, I've jumped back into life in Birmingham, working at UAB, living with my roommates, and catching up with the ministries and people that mean so much to my heart.  I'm so thankful for all the Lord has provided thus far, and I'm thankful He will continue to be faithful.    

reflection

15 weeks.  That's how long I've had the privilege of living in Spokane, Washington.  Yes, there have been some rough patches, but I'm proud to say I'm leaving with a full heart.  A heart that has grown to love the people of Spokane, a heart that is slowly learning to find true and full satisfaction in God, a heart that has become even more passionate about women's health and the need young moms have for someone to pour into their lives.  I've been stubborn, selfish, controlling, deceitful, and lazy, but God has shown me humility, grace, mercy, unconditional love, and an abundance of faithfulness.  In a way, yes, I did take a leap of faith by moving to a city where I knew no one.  But, it's more than faith that helped me through; it's hope in something greater, in someONE greater; it's a relationship with a God who yearns for me to be totally His.  No, I'm not perfect; I'm not doing everything right, and I never will.  But, God has chosen me to live this life as His child, as a daughter of the King.  And though I will never fully live up to those expectations, all I can hope and pray is that God would use me to bring glory to Him.  The rest is still unwritten, but that's where the adventure awaits...

And I'll leave you with this, a few things I will miss the most from Spokane...

Working for a hospital with a mission like this, "As people of Providence we reveal God's love for all, especially the poor and vulnerable, through our compassionate care."

Working in an environment where your coworkers feel like family, where even the security officers know my name, where doctors appreciate and trust my opinion, and where one feels comfortable to ask questions and learn.

Hiking and exploring new places, and taking people along with me for the adventure.

Being a part of YoungLives, seeing teen moms poured into and challenged with truth and hope; getting to know the YL director and watching her passion being lived out in every area of her life.

Being a part of a group of young professionals on Wednesday nights; nights where we left our busy lives to talk about the Word of God, to dig deep, ask questions, and apply God's truth to our lives.

Participating in a Beth Moore Bible Study with a group of older women, digging into the book of Isaiah and learning how to break free from the bondage life throws at us, ending the last meeting with me in the center and hands laid upon me as prayers were lifted for the unknown journey ahead.

Laughing with, talking to, listening to, and building relationships with people I now call friends.

Doing nothing, slowing down, basking in the presence of the Lord.

God is good, friends, all the time; all the time, God is good.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

 

beauty

beauty of friendship.  of laughter.  of trees full of color and crisp fall air.  of adventure and exploring.  of slowing down life and sitting still.  of conversation and encouragement.  of snow capped mountains and waking up to snowy days.  of little finds of hope on hikes.  of simplicity.  of giving newborns their first baths.  of coworkers welcoming me like family.  of teaching a first time dad how to change a diaper.  of hearing a teenage mom say, "there is nothing quite like the immediate and overwhelming love you have for your baby." 

Being a lover of nature, I'm constantly amazed by the beauty of the landscapes and scenery that surround me.  Recently though, I've been more aware of the beauty in the people and experiences surrounding me.  God has hand picked each of us to live on this earth, to experience His creations, and to enjoy His presence.  Such grace and mercy He extends to us, and all because of one word.  LOVE.  Love is the core behind everything God has done, is doing, and plans to do.  Is love the core behind everything you do?  It's not for me.  But, I'm learning.  I'm learning to love unconditionally, sacrificially, patiently, and humbly.  

"...you are precious in my sight and I love you.  I would trade creation just for you." 

Isaiah 43:4

A glimpse into recent life...

I got to spend last weekend with two very dear friends and fellow L&D nurses.  Natalie and Ellen came all the way from Birmingham to explore Seattle with me.  I'm so thankful for these two, for their love for life, traveling, and birthing babies.

Right-my one quick glimpse of Mt Rainer from the ferry ride. 

Left-hiking in Olympic National Park

Hiking in Olympic National Park, well worth the ferry ride and short road trip.

On top of Hurricane Ridge...breathtaking panoramic view of the mountains.

A Seattle must...the Space Needle.

rest

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes."  Psalm 37:7

How many times have you heard the phrase "be still?"  I feel like I've heard it a lot, probably so many times that the meaning has become trivial and minimized to me.  For those of you who know me well, you know I'm not a huge fan of sitting still.  I like to be on the go, active, involved in everything possible.  Though I've learned the hard way that I can't do everything at once, I still like to maintain a sense of business.  The summer after I graduated college, knee surgery put me on the couch and made me slow down.  Though I wasn't the best patient, I learned some valuable lessons that will stick with me for the rest of my life.  Over the past few months, God has once again opened up doors of opportunity for me to slow down.  A lot.  I've successfully finished books that I've been reading for months, I've gone through at least four books of stamps, I've read more of the Word than I probably have in the past year, I've been on numerous hikes and runs by myself, I've watched many tv shows on Netflix, and I've learned to pray continually.  It's been good, but it hasn't been easy.  Sometimes I feel like I'm being lazy, worthless, nonproductive, but then someone reminds me this is good.  I may never again have this time of rest, this time to enjoy intimacy with my Creator.  So, I'm trying to change my attitude and embrace this for what it is, and for what God is allowing me to experience.  Be still, my friends, our God wants us to slow down.

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."  Psalm 63:1

Two months ago this girl walked up to me and said, "I think we need to be friends."  Such an answer to prayer Renee's friendship has been over the past few months.  From walks in the park, swinging on the playground, drinking tea, trying out all of Spokane's restaurants, packing up life into boxes, exploring Palouse Falls, to being called off work together, this friendship will hopefully last many years to come.

Any adventure I ever mention, and Audrey is totally on board.  Though she claims to not be much of a hiker, but she puts up with me and loves getting out of Spokane to check things off my bucket list.  

After a run last week, I stumbled upon this glorious place to watch the sunset.  Such a good moment to stop, slow down, and remember "He is God."  

What do you do with two days off of work?  I go to Canada.  Jess and Heidi have been two of the sweetest and compassionate friends here in Spokane.  Though we are all in this crazy season of unknowns together, it's encouraging to know we're not alone.  Our conversations are full of discouragement, fear, hope, honesty, encouragement, and truth from the Gospel.  I'm excited to see where the Lord takes these ladies in the coming days and years. 

The one thing that frustrates me most about photos is that rarely can you capture the true essence and beauty of reality.  Our drive through Canada was full of yellows and reds, fall in its prime, waterfalls rushing, snow on the ground, simple beauty.  Yet, none of my photos actually capture what it really looked like.  So, I'm leaving you with this, a photo (courtesy of Jess) from our ferry ride across Lake Kootney.

living in the present

one more month.  that's how much longer i have left in this lovely city in washington.  sometimes i still have to remind myself that i'm living all the way across the country.  as maddie reminded me today, "i mean, you're way closer to russia and china over here than we are in the south."  thanks maddie, for pointing that out.  as i start to reflect on all God has taught me in my time out here,  i'm more reminded of what God still has time to teach me here.  and though some lessons won't be realized until many months down the road, i'm grateful for where God has brought me today.  one thing i've been trying to work on lately is simple faith/trust in the Lord.  trusting Him day to day.  i'm a planner, i like to know what is going to happen next.  not knowing where i will be in january is not fun.  but, God has once again proved faithful.  through some solid and honest conversations lately, i've been reminded i don't have to know.  it's not my job to know.  my only job is to trust God.  and to be follow Him in humble obedience.  that's all.  simple right?  wrong.  it's much easier said than done.  what does it mean to truly trust God day to day?  though i'm still working out the kinks to the answer to this question, i think we can start by answering it with having childlike faith.  a pure, naive, innocent, courageous faith, faith that God is a hero, companion, friend, healer, provider, and lover.  faith knowing that when i jump into something unknown, He is going to be there to catch me.  faith like a child...that's where daily trust begins.   so faith like a child and living in the present...my goals for the week.  embracing each day for what it is and making the most of every conversation. being intentional and relational and speaking the truth of the gospel at any time.  

life tidbits...

snail mail is awesome.  i love checking my mailbox, and probably check it more often than necessary.  since i've been out here, my friends and mom have been faithful to send me notes of encouragement.  last week i opened my mailbox to not only an awesome letter, but also homemade chocolate chip cookies.  thanks sara for the sweet surprise.  i'm so grateful for all the words of affirmation and hope i've been receiving.  thank you.

last week i got to tag along with my dear friend and talented photographer, jess.  such a blessing to spend the afternoon photographing sweet little twin boys.  

college roommate, sorority sister, faithful friend, english teacher, contagious laugher, best hug giver, and so much more.  so glad one of my best friends was able to come across the country to spend the weekend with me.  thank you maddie for giving up your fall break to come visit me.  

fall is alive and well in spokane.  the weather is cool and the leaves are changing color.  fall is my favorite season.  the air is crisp and the sky is blue, flowers are still blooming and everything is pumpkin flavored.  i could take pictures of every tree in spokane, but i'll limit it to just this one. 

riverside state park is by far my favorite place in spokane.  i could hike for hours, or just sit by the river and listen to the rapids over the rocks.  though you always run into at least one other hiker or runner on the trail, it's usually very quiet, peaceful.  i've come to enjoy my hikes in spokane, no music, phone calls, or friends, just me and God.  such an intimate and special time with my Creator.  

God winks

One of the biggest things I took away from my summer working at Camp Winshape was "God winks."  That time your heart was warmed when your worst camper gave you the biggest hug, you had an awful day and look down at your phone to see an encouraging text from a friend, you smile to yourself after seeing something that reminds you of home, someone sent you a letter in the mail, you received a compliment from the patient you thought despised your guts, you saw an amazing sunset, you witnessed change in someone's life, etc.  All those times you were reminded God has His eye on you, that He is by your side, and that He has good in store for you.  This week I'm thankful for the ways God has reminded me He is in control.  

After a run last week I noticed an empty swing on the nearby playground.  And so I did like most people should do when they see an empty swing, I used it.  Later that day an exert from my journal read..."How freeing it is to swing.  To feel like you're flying and there is no limit to how high you can go.  And the feeling of air brushing against your cheeks making them rosy and pink.  Kinda relates to how freeing a relationship with God can be.  He releases me from bondage and baggage so I can reach the sky.  His presence is like the wind brushing against my cheeks, reminding me I'm not alone." (photo credit of summer 2009)

A hike to the "Big Rock" reminded me of the greatness of God, looking out over the farmlands and pastures, being able to see for miles and miles.  Thankful that the same God who created those miles and miles of land has enough grace and mercy to have a plan for my life.  What a majestic and sovereign God we serve.    

Humble.  That's how I felt after attending YoungLives Club last week.  I've been blessed to volunteer occasionally with YoungLives, a ministry for teen moms, in Spokane.  It's like youth group, but the students come with kids, there is dinner, childcare, games, crafts, and story telling.  Last week the story was about Shauna (the YL leader) and her best friend, Jesus.  These teen moms (and a few dads) are experiencing truth, hope, and love. 

So this one time my dear friend Candice and I were driving across country.  After miles and miles of corn fields and pastures of cattle we started to see mountains in the distance, snow capped mountains (the Grand Tetons).  It was awesome.  Out of nowhere rose these beautiful mountains dipped in fresh white snow.  Needless to say, we were mesmerized, ecstatic, and sitting on the edge of our seats.  Yesterday my friend Tamara got to experience my same giddy excitement when I saw the snow capped Cascade Mountains.  There is just something incredible about mountains dipped in snow.  After countless miles of nothing, God brings out something majestic.  All those times in life when we thought our life was dull, God was preparing us for something awesome.  I can name numerous times in my life when God surprised me with something spectacular.   

Sunsets are by far my favorite time of day.  The end of a day, whether good or bad, happy or sad, busy or lazy, dreary or full of sunshine.  The glimmer of light from the sun shining its last light for the day constantly reminds me of the Lord's faithfulness.  That He does have a plan, He allowed me to make it through this day, and He has the next day planned too.  Sunsets for me have always been a time where I can sit in solitude with the Lord, marveling at His beauty and basking in His presence.

Be on the lookout, God is winking at you too.  "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you, he rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice, blessed are all who wait on Him."  Isaiah 30:18